Thursday, April 28, 2016

My Hope

I first heard Hope’s Anthem in September 2014. It was during the time my church, Bethel Cincinnati, was still meeting at the Corryville Recreation Center gym. I remember sitting on the right side of the gym that particular Sunday. I’d never heard Hope’s Anthem before; however, as I heard the music and read the lyrics, my heart was comforted in such powerful ways. I felt like God was speaking directly to me through that song. It was as if God knew exactly what I needed to hear at that very moment. September 2014 was a hard time for me. I remember feeling as if I was in a valley and that God had forgotten about me. Hearing that song on that particular Sunday reminded me that God had not forgotten about me and was there right beside me.

Fast forward to Sunday April 10, 2016. My church sang Hope’s Anthem again. I’d heard the song on many Sundays in the past, but this week was different. The song touched my heart in the same powerful way it did almost 2 years prior. I felt God’s spirit so clearly and became overwhelmed as we were singing the song. I remember thinking, “wow this song really touched me today”, but I couldn’t put my finger on why that was the case. I now know that song was preparing me for the reminder I needed.

The reminder that my hope is in Jesus. Not in my circumstances. Not in my job. Not in school. Not in my relationships. Not in people. My hope is in Jesus.

Because my hope is in Jesus, I can push through the storms that come my way. Because my hope is in Jesus, I can smile in the midst of my heart aching. Because my hope is in Jesus, I can walk through life knowing and believing that, And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28.

Although there are moments that I am emotionally exhausted, overcome with sadness, and enraged in anger, I am confident where my hope is. I know that I serve the most powerful God who loves and cares for me deeply. Because I know this... I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong” 2 Corinthians 12:10

Hope’s Anthem

He’s awakening the hope in me
By calling forth my destiny
He’s breathing life into my soul
I will thirst for Him, and Him alone


He has come like the rain
That showers on the barren plain
So my heart and tongue confess
Jesus Christ, the hope of man

My hope is in You, God
I am steadfast, I will not be moved
I’m anchored, never shaken
All my hope is in You

He’s bringing hope to the hopeless
And giving His heart to the broken
And sharing His home with the orphan
He is the joy, He is my joy


He is the hope of the nations
The Father’s heart we’re embracing
He is the song we’re declaring
He is the joy, He is my joy


Why so downcast oh, oh my soul
Put your hope in God alone


Friday, April 1, 2016

I'm Tired

I've been trying to find a way to describe how I felt about the #Blksapblackout that occurred on Friday March 25, 2016. This was a movement of Black Student Affairs Professionals that took over the Student Affairs Professionals Facebook page with the sharing of articles, videos, and personal stories addressing the experiences of Black people in higher education." (Ramiz, 2016). One of my Black colleagues, Bulaong Ramiz, writes a great blog post about the #Blackout for those unfamiliar. 

Since poetry is the heartbeat of my soul, I decided to write a poem entitled "I'm Tired" that is a reflection of my feelings regarding the #Blksapblackout and how it feels being a Black student affairs professional.

I’m Tired

I’m tired of having to explain myself,
Anytime anything happens to me.
I’m so tired of having to make a case,
Because my truth they don’t want to see.

I’m tired of exerting energy,
With no reprieve in sight.
I’m so tired I have no words to express this,
Why do I always have to fight the good fight?

I’m tired of being twice as good,
When they can get away with being bad.
I’m so tired of playing by the rules,
That weren’t created for me to pass.

I’m tired of being at the margins,
Which forces me to exert my voice loud.
I’m so tired of convincing folks why my story matters,
Trying to convince them why I’m so proud.

I’m tired of having to check my emotions,
Because it won’t help “bring the conversation in”.
I’m so tired of being told my anger should be managed,
That I should hold my true feelings in.

I’m tired of people’s feelings being held above mine,
Which scars like a whip and chain.
I’m so tired of being treated like someone’s slave,
With the master controlling the game.

I’m tired of being told her shame should concern me,
When she’s the one who called me a “whining petulant child”.
I’m so tired of my hurt being marginalized,
Ignored, neglected and forced to hide.

I’m so tired of empty apologies.
I’m so tired of the blank stares.
I’m so tired of having to suffer for your learning sake.
I’m so tired, this shit ain’t fair!