Authentic Friendships

I love “This I Believe” statements. I discovered them back in 2010 when “This I Believe II” was the summer reading book at Miami. I fell in love with the book and concept and have found ways to utilize it in my work and life ever since.

Friendships, real friendships are important to me. They fill my soul powerful ways. My “This I Believe” statement below is about authentic friendships. I hope it will inspire you to think more friendships and compel you to write your own “This I Believe Statement”.

I believe in authentic friendships. Not the kind where you only talk about the weather, complain about your job, or gossip about others because those have only left me empty and longing for more. Instead, I believe in friendships that fill your heart until it explodes, give you life, and provide a space where you are fully known and loved.

I am an extrovert to the core. Being around people gives me energy. I love it! I’m good at it. I am also a  WOO (winning others over). I meet people and can find an instant connection with them. At the end of our interaction, they feel like I’m their new best friend. This is both a blessing and a curse. I discovered that I have many people around me, but not a lot of people who really know me and are my real friends. I long for something much deeper.

So, how do you get past the surface? Where is the bridge between talking about the weather and digging deep into someone else’s life? I knew I could not maintain these surface level friendships with so many people. It was draining and unfulfilling. I knew I needed more and so I just took a leap. I decided I wanted my friendship to grow deeper and the only way for that to happen was to talk about things that were deep. So I did. I shared something that only a handful of people know about me.  I was afraid of what type of reaction I would get. Would this make things awkward or move our friendship forward? The latter was true and I was relieved! That one leap of faith and sharing who I really am instead of sharing how everyone thinks I should be was freeing and transformed our friendship. It connected us in ways that I could have only dreamed of. It opened up the door for us to share authentically. It began a journey that we both benefit from. After that interaction I felt known, cared for, loved, and safe in ways I had not before.

Taking that leap was one of the easiest and most difficult things I have ever done. It was anxiety filled and freeing. I felt exposed and safe. I was nervous and excited. And at the end of it, I felt known.

That moment solidified what friendships, authentic friendships are really about. It is about more than the masks we hide behind, the walls we put up, and the performances we put on. Instead, authentic friendships are about being fully known, fully loved, and fully free to be who you are. Authentic friendships require vulnerability, trust, and commitment. They take work and are risky, and I believe the rewards of an authentic friendship are worth it.